When will the Rollercoaster ride stop? I feel despair, love, fury, hate & sad. When will indifference set in?

Don't dwell on the "WHY"...move on! Some guys don't know why, they just do it...it's hard to understand, but you need to focus on the kids and get yourself back on track...All those feelings your feeling are normal...keep pushing forward and think positive...I know it seems hard now, but it will get better!